Navigating the Four Emotional Phases of Retirement
Each of us is a unique individual. There never was and never will be the exact same mix of personality traits and talents, woven together in a unique social environment.
And yet, in some ways we're remarkably similar to everyone else. A good example of this is how we all tend to react to a significant loss. Psychologists have observed that in these cases most people experience five stages of grief, beginning with denial and ending with acceptance.1
In this instance, the fact that we're similar is a good thing because it allows us to empathize with each other. And it allows counselors to guide people through the process, helping them see where they are in their grief journey, what they are likely to experience next, and when they can hope for resolution.
Dr. Riley Moynes, a former academic turned best-selling author and financial coach, has observed that most retirees go through four distinct phases after they leave their career.2 According to Moynes the process can be an emotional roller coaster, especially through the middle phases. But it's been his experience that with the right mindset retirees can move past this turmoil to a highly satisfying new chapter in their lives.
Here are the phases.
Vacation time: Free from the responsibilities of work, retirees experience the euphoria of doing whatever they feel like on any given day.
Feeling loss and feeling lost: The specialness of being on permanent vacation wears off and they begin to feel the loss of their work identity and relationships.
Trial and error: Looking for a way out of their funk, retirees try new activities and seek new relationships. It can take a while to find a new role that's the right fit.
Reinvent and repurpose: Retirees discover a new version of themselves. Having found the "why" for this next phase in life, they have a good reason to get out of bed every morning.
Knowing that you are likely to experience these stages (or something similar) in this order, can help you in two big ways.
First, you'll be less prone to make poor decisions during the trial and error phase—taking actions that could have a drastic effect for years to come. For example, investing heavily in a new venture that doesn't pan out.
Second, as you search for your next big thing, you can have the assurance that "this too shall pass." It may take time, but you will discover the kind of life that brings satisfaction.
Of course, it's good to anticipate the four stages of retirement well before they happen. Just assuming that the fun of living like you're on vacation every day will last is likely lead to disappointment. Explore your options ahead of time and ask your trusted advisor about what other clients have discovered to be satisfying new roles in their retirement.
Sources:
1. http://go.pardot.com/e/91522/wiki-Five-stages-of-grief/96bvf4/2656024404/h/kQmA1NqD7TGKV_d5TNYKhf3LzXmCB43_dynyQYoNQnk
2. http://go.pardot.com/e/91522/most-retirees-4-113200400-html/96bvf7/2656024404/h/kQmA1NqD7TGKV_d5TNYKhf3LzXmCB43_dynyQYoNQnk
